I remember the day we officially met. Like it was yesterday…
It was F r i d a y, F e b r u a r y 1 3, 2 0 0 4. Not only was it Friday the 13th, but it was the day before Valentine’s Day. #redflag
Usually, a typical Friday afternoon for me, at the tender age of fifteen, consisted of me coming home, doing my homework, making sure my two little sisters got home by 3:30 and that they ate. For my own personal entertainment, I would have probably stayed in my bedroom, logged onto my computer and either anonymously blogged about my friends all losing their virginity and getting dumped or I’d type up fanfiction stories I had brewing in my head. I was highly obsessed with 50 Cent and Omarion from B2K, back in those days. Either way, I was a total loner usually because I had responsibilities and priorities before I could have a social life.
While on the school bus, on the way home, one of my best friends, Asia, was begging me to come hang out with her.
“It’s Friday, just hang out for like a hour!” She would beg, sounding just like Smokey from Friday.
I kept declining and declining, but she wouldn’t take NO for an answer.
“Look, you go home, and wait for your sisters to get home from school and then just come to my house.” Asia begged. “Dyana, you never get to come out and hang out with us.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I responded.
“All we’re gonna do is hang out outside. You should chill with us.” Martin, her neighbor chimed in. “I have to watch my baby sister too, bring your sisters.”
“My mother would kill me.” I responded.
“We aren’t going anywhere, just come over.” Asia demanded.
“Like I said, I’ll see what I can do.” I responded.
My bus stop came, and I exited the school bus, then walked toward my house. I unlocked the door and bolted towards my bedroom. I had voicemails waiting on my bedroom phone. Yes, I had my own personal phone and phone number. I started listening to the voicemail messages, as I changed out of my school clothes and into something more comfortable. It was a two-piece baby blue sweat suit. And underneath the hooded jacket, I put on a plain white T-shirt. I through on some Reebok sneakers that my dad had just purchased for me. They were all white with the same baby blue color in the back.
My mother left a voicemail message telling me that she was going to be home late, and to take care of my baby sisters. My grandmother also left a voice message that she would be leaving work early and would be home. I was so excited, and ended the messages to call my grandmother back at work. I asked her when she would be home, which she responded would be soon. I asked her if she could give me a break and watch my sisters so I could hang out with my friends and she was cool with it. She made me promise to not get into any trouble and behave myself. I kept my word.
A hour later, my sisters were home from school and my grandmother pulled up to the house in the knick of time. I had my cordless phone in my hand and I called up Asia.
“Hello.” She answered the phone.
“Guess what?” I asked her.
“You can come over?” She asked.
“Yep.” I answered. “See you in five-ten minutes!”
We hung up. I hugged my grandmother and told my sisters that I made them each a grilled cheese sandwich, grabbed my black Sean Jean coat and I was out the door.
I walked down the two blocks to Asia and Martin’s street. They were both outside. As I approached them, all I could see were Asia’s big cheeky cheeks smiling and grinning back at me. She was beyond excited to hang out. Asia was not an innocent girl. She was sarcastic and sometimes sadistic, but we always had fun together when we could. She was a sophomore in high school. Martin was a junior, at my school, and pretty popular because he was into fashion. He did those airbrush designs on T-shirts and people’s sneakers. I was just a freshman in high school. Being that they were older and in high school longer than me, they knew a lot more people than I did, at the time. So I was lucky to make friends with some of the upperclassmen.
Now here’s how sadistic Asia was. Martin had a crush on me. I always sensed it, but I never got confirmation of that information until years later, believe it or not. Martin was not a good looking kid. He was about six feet tall and super skinny. He had big bugged eyes, and his teeth reminded me of Bugs Bunny:
However, Martin was always a funny dude. A class clown, if you will. He made me laugh every time I was around him. So I didn’t mind hanging around with him. Turned out the reason why Asia wanted me to hang out with them, was because she was trying to hook me up with Martin. I was not interested at all!
Now we had been outside in the middle of the street, chatting it up and laughing and whatnot. Martin and Asia lived two houses apart from each other, and Martin needed to be close to his house because his baby sister was like six or seven years old, so he had to listen out for her. We literally were doing absolutely nothing, and a moment later there HE was…
…He was walking right toward us. He had on a black D-Block coat, a black beanie hat that was slightly tilted down over one of his eye, baggy jeans, and black Air Force Ones.
“A-yo Martin!!!” He shouted down the street.
“Who’s that?” Martin yelled back.
The boy got closer and closer to us with a mischievous smile upon his face.
“That’s Rogene!” Asia smiled with her big cheeks.
“Who?” I asked.
“That’s my boy, we go way back.” Martin answered.
Asia grabbed my arm and squeakily whispered in my ear. “Oh my God, he is so cute.”
Once Rogene got closer to us, I examined him. He looked familiar to me, but I wasn’t sure how I really knew him.
“Oh shit, what’s up Rich?” Martin asked him, as he gave him dap.
“Shit nothing, just getting out of school.” Rogene answered, returning the dap.
“What school are you at now?” Martin asked.
“CAMS!” Rogene responded.
Another #redflag. CAMS was abbreviated for Collaborative Alternative Magnet School. It was just a substitute school you were forced into, if you were a “disruptive student” and/or had behavioral issues. And Rogene was both a disruptive student with behavioral issues. You will come to find that out, if you continue to read.
“Well you better stay outta trouble from now on, nigga.” Martin stated.
“Shit, can’t make any promises.” Rogene joked and shrugged his shoulders.
He wasn’t joking. He was dead ass serious. But only time would confirm it.
Asia and I were having our own interaction together, but also listening in on Rogene and Martin reconnect. Eventually, Martin introduced us to him.
“So what are y’all doing outside?” Rogene asked.
“Just chillin. I’m supposed to be watching my kid sister.” Martin answered. “You remember Asia, right?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Rogene answered, waving at her. “What’s up?”
“Hi.” She giggled, trying to play shy.
“And that’s her friend Dyana!” Martin introduced me to him.
“Hi Dyana.” Rogene smiled, and reached out his hand to me. “Don’t I know you?”
“I don’t think so.” I answered, dapping him.
“No, I do.” He demanded. “I never forget a pretty face.”
“Thank you, but I’m not sure we met before.” I insisted.
This was when Asia became well aware that Rogene was interested in me, and not her. And Rogene and I later found out how we knew each other, but you will too, sooner rather than later.
We ended up moving from the middle of the street, and chilling on Martin’s front porch. Rogene was literally flirting with both Asia and I. Martin interacted a bit, but it was obvious Rogene knew how to get the girl’s attention. Asia was getting jealous because Rogene flirted with me more. But I really wasn’t thinking anything of it. Back then I was insecure. I didn’t think boys liked me. And the boys I liked, always liked my friends. Or they liked my friends only so they could date them, take their virginity and break up with them right afterwards. I was already a mentally damaged child, because of my own parents. So having feelings for a boy were the least of my concerns. And yes, I was still a virgin. After all the horror stories that my friend’s experienced, I wanted no parts of being in a relationship, especially in high school.
Martin and Asia had cell phones, and were texting each other. Remember, the original plan was for Asia to try to hook me up with Martin. When Rogene came along, Asia wanted to hook up with him. But now that it was looking like fate was working on Rogene and I, Martin and Asia began plotting again. They texted each other to go into his house.
“I’m thirsty.” Asia mentioned. “Martin, you got something to drink?”
“Yeah.” He answered. “Y’all want anything?”
“No.” Rogene answered.
“No, thank you.” I answered.
Martin and Asia went into his house. They left Rogene and I alone outside for awhile. While Martin and Asia were inside his house plotting on how to get us (Rogene and I) away from one another. But the damage was already done. Rogene and I still made small talk. Eventually, Rogene made it obvious that Martin liked me. I didn’t want to believe it. I laughed. Rogene wasn’t a very nice friend towards Martin.
“You think he’s ugly.” Rogene joked. “You like me, because I’m handsome.”
“You’re funny.” I responded. “We’re just friends. I don’t really know Martin like that, to like him more than a friend.”
“I bet money, they’re both in there right now cockblocking us.” Rogene said. “Because Asia likes me.”
“She does.” I confessed. “Don’t tell her I told you.”
My intentions were good. Like I said, I had no intention on being more than friendly with Rogene, but fate was destined to happen.
“I won’t.” He promised. “Because I’m going to let her down gently, only because she’s your friend. You’re going to be my girlfriend, Dyana.”
I laughed. “Yoo, I don’t even know you like that.” I laughed some more. “I don’t even have time for a boyfriend.”
“You’ll get to know me.” Rogene said. “And you’ll make time for me.”
I wish I knew about narcissism when I was fifteen, because this was the prime definition of it. #redflag
Asia and Martin finally reemerged, and their reattempt to get Rogene and my attention back onto them was a complete failure. They were super obvious and the cat was out of the bag. Martin kept making every effort to get as close to me as he could. And Asia’s flirting techniques were so desperate. Rogene liked me and I knew it. Asia knew it. Martin knew it. And I began to like Rogene back. My first big mistake.
Eventually it was getting later in the afternoon. Asia’s mother had pulled up into her driveway and walked into the house.
“Great, I’m probably going to have to go inside soon.” Asia acknowledged her mother’s entry into her home. “My mom just got here.”
“It’s getting late, I should check with my grandmother and sisters.” I admitted. “She’s probably tired of them already.”
“Oh Please, Dyana.” Asia said. “You know you just want to go home and sit on your computer to talk shit on the Internet.”
Martin and Rogene laughed at Asia’s slick remark. Looking back on it now, I should have clapped back on her, because of that sassy shit. She was just trying to save face, because she lost Rogene to me. Little did she even know, that I basically saved her from experiencing the worst trauma ever. But I will never get a ‘Thank You, I sure dodged a bullet with that one.‘ – I mean, I’m just saying.
“Come on, we’ll walk you home.” Martin suggested.
“Why?” Asia asked. “Her house is only two streets down.”
“To make sure she gets home safely.” Rogene said. “Don’t dog your best friend, Asia.”
“It’s fine.” I said. “It’ll only take me five minutes.”
“It’s five more minutes we get to hang out.” Martin insisted.
We began the five minute walk toward my house, which expanded to about fifteen minutes, because we took our sweet precious time. First Martin and Rogene were walking behind Asia and I. I imagine Rogene was letting Martin know that he was trying to talk to me and wanted to break the bad news to Asia. Of course, I was calling Asia out for being a bitch towards me and trying to embarrass me, all because Rogene liked me and not her. And of course, Asia was confessing that she was jealous that Rogene was more attracted to me. I told her I wasn’t interested in him. Sure I thought he was cute. Cuter than Martin, but she knew I had no intention of dating anyone. I reassured her that if Rogene and I spoke again, I’d convince him to talk to her.
“Hey Asia, can I talk to you?” Rogene asked.
Asia and I looked at each other, confused. We stopped walking, until Martin and Rogene caught up to us. Rogene put his arm around Asia’s neck and they continued walking ahead. Martin walked alongside with me.
“Rogene likes you.” Martin informed. “He wants to ask you out for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.”
“Well, I’m not interested.” I responded.
“Sure you are.” Martin insisted. “He’s breaking the bad news to Asia right now.”
“He better not be.” I said. “She really likes him.”
“Rogene isn’t stupid, Dyana.” He confessed. “I know my boy and trust me, when he wants things his way, he will get his way.
Man, I should have listened to Martin, when he provided me with this information. Maybe my life could have went differently?!
Once we got to my street, and continued to approach my house. I noticed Asia was not happy. Rogene did it right then and there. It made me not like him even more. How could he think he had a chance with me? Would he do me the same way? I didn’t like that Asia took it out on me. I mean, what did I really do?
“This your house?” Rogene asked, as we all made it to the front porch of my house.
“Yes.” I answered. “Thanks for walking me home, guys.”
“It’s no biggie.” Martin said. “Come on, Asia.”
“Call me, later.” I say to Asia, but she says nothing back to me.
Martin and Asia begin walking back towards their street. Rogene approached me and grabbed my hand.
“I’m going to call you later.” He smiled.
“How?” I asked. “You don’t have my number and I’m not giving it to you.”
“I already have it.” He said. “And if you don’t answer, now I know where you live.” #redflag
I was shooketh. Did Asia give this kid my phone number? Yes. We all know the answer to that. But why? What did Asia and Rogene talk about in that short amount of time, on the way to my house? Why was Rogene so interested in me, when I wasn’t interested in him. Keep reading…
“I’m going to call you when I get home.” He acknowledged again, with his sinister smile. “See you later, beautiful.”
Rogene began walking away, and I walked inside my house. I checked on my younger sisters and I called my grandmother to let her know I was home. I reassured that my sisters were okay and went into my bedroom. I checked my phone for missed calls and voicemails, then logged into my computer. Yes, Asia was correct, I wanted to get back into my writing. Why do you think I’m so great at it now? LOL.
An hour had passed and I was deep into my writing, when my phone rang. It was Asia calling. I was shocked that she even called, because I was sure she was mad at me.
“Hey.” I answered.
“Did he call you yet?” Asia asked.
“No.” I responded. “You gave him my phone number?”
“Of course I did, Dyana.” She confirmed. “He likes you.”
“I swear, I wasn’t trying to get him to like me.” I said.
“Girl, I know, I was there.” She said. “You’re prettier than me, so of course, he likes you more than me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Asia, you’re pretty too.” I reciprocated. “And I’m really not interested.”
“And that’s why I’m not mad at you, Yana.” She continued. “I know you better than he does, and I know you might think he’s cute, but you’re not about to rush into anything with anyone.”
“Exactly.” I agreed. “So why the heck did you give him my phone number?”
“Girl, don’t think I’m hating, but I gave him the correct first three digits.” She giggled. “And I gave him the last four digits in reverse.”
We both laughed. And this was why Asia was my friend. We laughed hard for a long time. I mean we had tears in our eyes, but eventually I had to let her know what Rogene had said to me before he left.
“Oh my gosh, Asia, Nooooo.” I exclaimed. “He told me if I don’t answer my phone, he’s going to come back to my house.”
“Well good!” She giggled. “He better make promise to his word then!”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“If Rogene really likes you the way he claims, then he better make an effort.” She responded.
“You’re right.” I said. “But again, you know I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”
“Dyana, you want a boyfriend.” She proclaimed. “You’re always hanging out with all the boys, playing ball and stuff, because you think they’re cute.”
“So?” I questioned. “Just because I think someone is cute, doesn’t always mean I want to be their girlfriend, Asia.”
“You’re cool with all the dudes you know.” She said. “And they all think you’re pretty.”
“And I also don’t give them the time of day either.” I reassured.
“Still doesn’t change the fact that boys like you and you like boys.” She joked.
“Whatever.” I said. “If it happens, it happens. I’m not taking it too serious.”
Asia and I chatted on the phone for quite awhile. Eventually my mother called me and cut my conversation with Asia to an end. My mother advised me that she’s no longer staying later at work and wanted to treat me and my sisters to a fast-food dinner. I went out to the living room and advised them of what was going on. My sisters were excited to get out of the house and have something different for dinner for once. I was just happy that I no longer had to make dinner. My mother advised that she would be home in the next hour and to have my sisters dressed and ready. I hung up the phone, made them get dressed and put on their shoes and coats and we just watched TV, waiting for my mother to call back.
While we were watching brand new episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, a knock came to the front door. At first, I wasn’t able to hear it, but then our dog, Onyx was barking. Onyx was a Black Labrador Retriever, and he usually hung out in the front of the house to view the street, so nothing could get past him. I got up from the couch and went to check things out on the front porch.
“Hey Onyx, what’s wrong, boy?” I asked, petting his big head.
Onyx began crying and tried to scratch at the door. Then I heard a knock at the door, that had Onyx going crazy over. Onyx barked again, so I moved him away from the door. I turned on the porch light and peaked out the window through the blinds. It was Him. He was here again. Rogene. I partly opened the door.
“Hi?” I asked. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you I would come back, if I couldn’t reach you over the phone.” He answered. “I think Asia gave me the wrong number.”
“She did.” I responded. Laughing in my head, thinking about what Asia confessed earlier on the phone.
“Yeah, because she’s jealous.” He laughed.
“Actually, she knows that I don’t have time for guys.” I confirmed.
“You really don’t like me?” He questioned.
“I don’t know you, to not like you.” I responded.
“So get to know me.” He demanded.
“Why don’t you go out with someone who already likes you?” I asked him.
“Who?” He asked. “Asia?”
“Exactly.” I confirmed.
“Because I don’t like Asia.” He retorted. “I like you, Dyana.”
Just then Onyx came back towards the front door, barking again. I stepped outside onto the front porch and gently closed the door behind me.
“You only like me because of my face.” I reminded him. “I’m more than a cute face.”
“Well, give me a chance to find out, sheesh!” He exclaimed. “You giving a nigga a hard time.”
“AND?!!!!” I asked back, sassy.
“Can I come in?” He asked. “Can I kick it with you? Get to know you?”
“No.” I answered.
“Why not?” He asked.
“My mother is on her way home.” I answered. “I’m about to leave.”
“Shit, do you have to go?” He asked.
“Yes, I have to go.” I responded.
“Introduce me to your mother, I wanna go too.” He joked.
“You’re wildin!” I laughed. “She won’t like you.”
“Why not?” He questioned.
“She never likes any of my friends, at first.” I said. “Took her forever to like my friends I play ball with.”
“Word? You play ball?” Rogene asked, smiling.
“Yeah, but only in my backyard or at the park.” I confessed.
“You got a hoop?” He quizzed.
“Yeah, all the way up the driveway, under the garage.” I replied. “It was there when we moved in like four years ago.”
“Well, tell her you met me at the park, playing ball.” He advised.
“For real. It’s not going to happen tonight.” I admitted. “If you want to talk on the phone, then we can talk on the phone, but you’re not about to try to meet my mom.”
“Alright, alright.” He smiled. “What’s your number?”
“I’ll go in the house and write it down.” I insisted.
“Chill, chill, chill…” He exclaimed. “Tell me it, I won’t forget it.”
“203-624-0469.” I responded.
“Are you for real?” He asked, surprised.
“What?” I asked confused.
“Asia really gave me your number, but gave the last 4 numbers backwards?” He stated.
“Yep.” I laughed. “She told me she did that.”
“That’s fucked up!” Rogene said. “But it’s only because she’s jealous that you’re prettier than her.”
“That’s all you care about?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “Is how pretty I am?”
“I’m going to get to know you, don’t worry your cute face yet.” He said.
“Look, you gotta go before my mom gets here.” I insisted.
“203-624-0469?” Rogene questioned, as he began walking backwards off the stairs of my front porch.
“Yes.” I confirmed. “GOOOO!!!”
As Rogene began walking away, my mother and her purple 1998 Dodge Caravan came cruising down the street. I hoped that she didn’t see me and Rogene talking, or else I could have gotten in trouble.
“What are you doing outside?” My mother asked, rolling down the window. “Who’s that walking down the street?”
“It was just a friend.” I answered.
“Lorante? Or Johntae?” She asked, as those were my usual male friends who were allowed to be at my house, when my mother was not there.
“Yes, mom.” I lied.
“Tell them I said ‘Hi’.” She said. “Go get your sisters.”
“Okay.” I respond.
I quickly walked back into the house, through the front door. And I get my little sisters from the living room and we walk out the house from the side entrance. My sisters ran to my mother’s vehicle in excitement. I happened to look down the street and noticed Rogene was still on my street. He began walking towards me and my mom’s car. #redflag
“Dyana, I thought you said that was Lorante or Johntae?” My mother questioned, as she noticed me looking directly at Rogene approaching us.
“No, it’s some boy that’s trying to ask me out.” I confessed. “I already told him no.”
“OUUUUUU!!! A boy asked you out?” My little sister, Mariah joked and giggled.
“Shut it!” I scolded her quickly.
Rogene was quickly approaching me and my mom’s vehicle.
“Hi, ma’am.” Rogene greeted. “I’m Rogene.”
He let out his hand towards my mother to shake.
“Hi, I’m Dyana’s mother.” She greeted back, shaking his hand. “So you were trying to ask my daughter out on a date? Huh?”
My mother never wasted any time.
“Yes.” He responded. “I think your daughter is very beautiful and I would like your permission, to get to know more about her.”
Here’s where I was shocked at my mother.
“Oh, well thank you for being a gentlemen and saying something to her mother.” She replied. “This is why I don’t like a lot of her other friends. They have no manners.”
“I was raised by my mother, ma’am.” Rogene claimed. “She’s a single mother, as well. She makes me go to church and it’s a must, for me to treat everyone with respect.” #redflag
Again, I wish I knew about narcissism, oversharing and gaslighting back then. It would have saved me so much future trauma.
“Good to know.” My mother said. “Well, we were going to get something to eat. Would you like a burger from Wendy’s?”
“No, thank you.” He answered.
“Dyana, if you want, you can stay here with your friend.” She offered. “We’ll only be like twenty minutes.”
What the hell was my mother thinking? I looked at my mother, then I looked at Rogene. I should have said no, but I gave it a chance. My mother usually would have been reluctant, but my mother allowed this to happen.
“If it’s okay, I’m going to hang out with my friend.” I responded.
“Okay, call my cell phone, if you need or want anything.” She said, rolling the car window back up.
My mother slowly drove off. I looked at Rogene, and that sinister smile was back on his face.
“Can we go inside?” He asked. “It’s chilly out here.”
We began walking up the driveway, towards the side door to enter my house.
“What the heck just happened here?” I shook my head in disbelief. “My mother usually hates my friends.”
“I’m not going to just be your friend.” He said. “You’re going to be my girlfriend by tomorrow.”
I rolled my eyes, and walked ahead of him towards the door. I took my keys out of my coat pocket, and unlocked the doors. We walked inside. We had to bypass the kitchen to get to the living room. I turned on the lights, as we entered each room. I grabbed the TV remote off the table in the center of the living room and turned on the television. Spongebob Squarepants was still on the TV screen. Rogene sat down on the leather couch, and I walked past him, and say on the leather loveseat.
“Why are you sitting all the way over there?” He asked.
I was being a lady! DUHHHH, motherfucker! But Rogene didn’t want that. He jumped up off the couch, and sat down next to me on the loveseat, and wrapped his arm over my shoulder. We both still had our coats on, so it was a little uncomfortable.
“Why, you have to be so close?” I asked.
“Dang, you never had a boyfriend before?” He asked.
“Yes, but not really.” I answered.
Yes, I dated a boy in junior high. But did it really count? All we did was go to the movies on a few occasions, he walked me home from school a couple of times, and we played a game of basketball. Sure, he met my dad, but we never even shared a real kiss. So I explained all of that to Rogene. And this is what I believe triggered Rogene and made him treat me the way that he treated me in the future. But I’m jumping ahead of myself again…
While my family was away, that twenty minutes of alone time, felt like time never existed. Back in the early 2000’s, time went by so slow. Rogene had grabbed the remote from my hand and he had muted the television. We talked and got to know each other. We actually had a conversation. He was actually trying to get to know me. More than any guy that had a crush on me, ever tried. I also learned that Rogene was eighteen and much more experienced in dating. He advised me about a girl he dated before going to juvenile detention. #redflag She allegedly started dating another guy, because he was ‘locked up‘. I was absolutely bothered by all of the information given. I was fifteen years old, a virgin, and never touched, unlike the other girls Rogene had dated prior to me. Here I was, always on the sideline, watching my friends date a guy, lose their virginity, then getting dumped. I had no intention of wanting to have sex any time soon. I also didn’t want to be bothered with someone who was a troublemaker.
“I hope I’m not being too forward…” He began. “When you talk, I can’t help but stare at your lips.”
“Why?” I asked, in confusion.
“Are you serious?” He responded. “You have the sexiest juicy lips, I’ve ever seen.”
“My lips are just big.” I joked.
“No, they look so…” He started. “Luscious!”
“Whatever.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“For real, for real.” He confirmed. “I just want to kiss them.”
Rogene leaned in for a kiss, but I backed away.
“Sorry.” I said.
“You really not feeling me?” He asked.
“I like you, but I don’t know you.” I responded.
“Dyana, I’m not gonna play with you.” He confessed. “I never liked a girl as much as I like you.”
“Then get to know me before kissing me.” I demanded.
…Come back in a few.
An update will be happening soon!
llcooljaydddde 