I do not understand why people like to play phone tag. It’s also uncannily to know that these people are doing this at their place of employment. What’s annoying about this factor is that I have no way of proving this, because I am all the way in fucking New Haven, doing what I am supposed to be doing. You know, minding my own business! While this “anonymous” person is in the jungles of Bumafucktown having an interesting day playing behind mobile devices. *inserts heavy eye roll* Yessssssssss, for the millionth frickin time! I shit you not! Every single day, there is a brand new telephone number. I mean, at least, it’s not being blocked anymore. I give HIM or HER some credit! But I’m not a retard. When I call back, all of a sudden the number is no longer in service, or I get continuous random text messages that just make no kind of sense. I don’t know what the fuck is this man’s and his woman’s issue with me, but this shit has to LITERALLY FUCKING STOP! I can not take the fuckery any longer. Now, I know that I have other ordeals going on in my life and I’m not ruling those factors out either. But if that were the case, those PIGS already have my ADDRESS! Pick me up motherfuckers. Come handle your motherfucking “BUSINESS” punks! They won’t. But for the millionth, God loving motherfucking time, I Am Not With Stupid <——. Do not let one night of foolishness, confuse the shit balls out of yourself! I am not naive or immature. “PUSH ME TO THE EDGE! All my friends are dead!” =P You people are not for me just as much as I am not for you. Continue reading “Phone Tag, More Premonitions, & #facts!”
I’m not hallucinating and I’m not paranoid. Yes, i smoke a little weed here and there. But I’m not imagining the things i see and hear going on. Right in front of me! I know that I’m not stupid and i know when i am in an awkward situation. I know when the focus has turned to me and i know when I’m not wanted or welcomed.
I know that Saturday, i went to a family BBQ and the attention was focused on me for some reason. It was to celebrate my cousin’s graduation and the other’s birthday. I know that complete strangers were talking shit about me, right in front of me. And i said not a word. I didn’t want to make a scene. I know what i saw and what i heard!
I know that my ex tried to set me up with some chicken shit broad to get me fucked up in West Haven two yrs ago. I know what i saw and heard and what the fuck happened. How did complete strangers know i was going to be on Campbell Ave to set me up to get ambushed by complete nobodies. I swear, i know what i saw and i know what the fuck happened. I was there.
I know that i got robbed last summer as a fucking set up. By who? I have no clue but i will be seeking my revenge on the parties involved.
I know that back in April, HE called me after going over a year of not communicating with me. He said it was to apologize but i know better than to play fuck boy shit. I had a dream of him, right before he placed that phone call and those texts. I know why he really called. I’m not stupid. I know that HE was parked outside my house one night in a gold car. I know that he sent some fat ugly white bumafuck bitch, walk into my job, to have me pressed! And I still acted like a lady and said not one word, nor made a scene, unless I FELT IT WAS NECESSARY to do so! I know what i have seen and what i have heard. I know what has happened right in front of my face.
I’m kind of all over the place. But I know what has been cleared! So why does my life have to be the deadly example? What did i ever do to anyone, to make them have to remind me, that they are all better than me? Who the hell made you almighty God and wonderful, that it’s ok to put me down? If you don’t want me around, do me a favor and put the bullet in my brain. I’m sorry that i don’t have the guts to pull the trigger on my own self!
Fighting depression, trying not to commit suicide in oncoming traffic, and holding back screams from the pain of cramps and an upcoming menstrual cycle… Life has been tough this past week. With following lame job leads, and attending the stupid monthly visit to the Man. I don’t know much worse my life could get. People thinking that I’m crazy, I decided to have a little movie marathon. Deep Cover, King of New York, Dog Day Afternoon, Scarface, Communion, and Beetlejuice. All powerful movies, with very convincing men in very insignificant situations. Especially in Communion. Why haven’t the aliens come for me yet? Bastards!
The plus side, I did meet someone new. And of course, I think he’s great. He made me laugh, which seems to be a hard thing to do these days. But with God’s awesome planning of life, there would be an issue. He was sent to me, only to leave me! Thanks to the European corruption of the United States, he’s being sent away. I promise to hold him down, but I fear my lifestyle will continue to drain me further into the gutter. Could I really keep him interested while he’s away? He says there’s no one else, but with my experiences with guys; statements that form from the mouth are usually false! And if it is true, can I narrow myself down to him? Situations like this makes my mind want to broaden my horizons and explore more options. But my heart, wants to settle. Hearts are stupid and so are the people that use them! Maybe that’s why people get stabbed in them often?
Because my heart has been stabbed, stomped, and kicked around so many times, I decided to add another story called Let Them Eat Cake. Based on true events, of course. There’s a little clip of one of my favorite chick flicks, Marie Antoinette. The way they lurk at each other, makes me think of a happier time. When things were good way back when. When I was able to smile and not have a single care in the world. Writing has been my way down the road to recovery. I hope someone accepts and appreciates it, like I do. Because I don’t know what else I can do to occupy the conflict between my heart and mind…
Been trying to let go of my past.
Hand my heart to God.
These devils won’t free me from the miserable Hell that I’m living.
After recent events in my life, I decided it was time to tell another tale of Dyana. She’s not finished, but she may shock the shit out of you. The way I’ve been carrying my notebook and pen, questioning and foreseeing the future, I still don’t understand why I’m not used to this shit yet. Made other miscellaneous updates as well. Browse around.
Living life is hard at all times. Even more when it comes unexpected. I’m glad I have this as an outlet to control my chaos. People tend to forget that “What happens in the dark, often comes to the light.“