I do not understand why people like to play phone tag. It’s also uncannily to know that these people are doing this at their place of employment. What’s annoying about this factor is that I have no way of proving this, because I am all the way in fucking New Haven, doing what I am supposed to be doing. You know, minding my own business! While this “anonymous” person is in the jungles of Bumafucktown having an interesting day playing behind mobile devices. *inserts heavy eye roll* Yessssssssss, for the millionth frickin time! I shit you not! Every single day, there is a brand new telephone number. I mean, at least, it’s not being blocked anymore. I give HIM or HER some credit! But I’m not a retard. When I call back, all of a sudden the number is no longer in service, or I get continuous random text messages that just make no kind of sense. I don’t know what the fuck is this man’s and his woman’s issue with me, but this shit has to LITERALLY FUCKING STOP! I can not take the fuckery any longer. Now, I know that I have other ordeals going on in my life and I’m not ruling those factors out either. But if that were the case, those PIGS already have my ADDRESS! Pick me up motherfuckers. Come handle your motherfucking “BUSINESS” punks! They won’t. But for the millionth, God loving motherfucking time, I Am Not With Stupid <——. Do not let one night of foolishness, confuse the shit balls out of yourself! I am not naive or immature. “PUSH ME TO THE EDGE! All my friends are dead!” =P You people are not for me just as much as I am not for you.
November 2016 – RELEASED! …From all that was hell and misery. I left ALL OF YOU behind! I left all of you IN THERE! I didn’t call or reach out to ANY OF YOU afterwards! I no longer CARED! I stopped. And guess what? I was FINE! GREAT! BETTER! I no longer CARED! But I had obligations and a new commitment to and for myself. I was doing FINE. I was doing OK. I was doing what I was supposed to do! I was giving myself back to me. I was tired of the crying and hurt. I didn’t want it anymore. So I stayed the fuck away! *in my Wyclef Jean voice* January, February, March, April, May… I turned another year older, but I was drama and random phone call free. I ended up back on the streets again, but that was my own decision. I lost out on occupations and money, because this country thinks it should control me. It’s funny, how after I got HIS out of nowhere texts and we had, what I thought, was our FINAL phone call back in April. Shortly after, I began receiving the random/spur of the moment text messages and phone calls. But I haven’t made one complaint. I mention it then dismiss it. I’m not really angry anymore. Because I am aware of the people that I have to deal with. My only issue with this situation is, that EVERYONE has had the audacity to say that I am the craziest, stupidest, weirdest, and most dysfunctional human being on all of the planet Earth. Okay?! What is it that I have to prove to you people? Do I have to Wendy Williams my life for you? I need to show you receipts? I didn’t know I needed a tax off on my own life… But if proof is what the people need, then here is some:
Was the thirst not clarified? Let’s discuss how the universe is continuously bringing this man and/or woman into my life. Having these premonitions/dreams. And then more incoming phone calls and text messages. I swear to God and my dead father, I am no longer into someone who could never show me to my face that he really did give a fuck about me. I don’t care about someone who posts pictures with a woman he has either no romantic feelings for, and/or doesn’t really want to be with. I no longer have no interest in catering to someone who couldn’t cater to me. I have no interest in someone who has to lie to three people; her, his child, and himself. I have no interest in someone who has to continuously stalk me on social media to see what is going on in my life. Not that I care. Because I don’t care about you, at all. But for some dumb fucking reason, the universe wants me to. He is always in my dreams, to the point that I no longer want to go to sleep. To the point, that I find myself randomly feeling him next to me. Or I that I find myself going to the mall to test out his cologne. Literally.
How does one song just comprehend my struggles? I move on, but I can’t let it completely go, because it is continuously happening. Why does my past control my future? Why is everyone trying to keep me as a stagnant and miserable person? Was I more interesting that way or something? Was she easier to control? Because I don’t remember it being that way. But still I try to proceed with my progress to prosper out of the shadows of death. The weak will never understand the depths of my strength. Don’t say that you weren’t warned!
I’m not hallucinating and I’m not paranoid. Yes, i smoke a little weed here and there. But I’m not imagining the things i see and hear going on. Right in front of me! I know that I’m not stupid and i know when i am in an awkward situation. I know when the focus has turned to me and i know when I’m not wanted or welcomed.
I know that Saturday, i went to a family BBQ and the attention was focused on me for some reason. It was to celebrate my cousin’s graduation and the other’s birthday. I know that complete strangers were talking shit about me, right in front of me. And i said not a word. I didn’t want to make a scene. I know what i saw and what i heard!
I know that my ex tried to set me up with some chicken shit broad to get me fucked up in West Haven two yrs ago. I know what i saw and heard and what the fuck happened. How did complete strangers know i was going to be on Campbell Ave to set me up to get ambushed by complete nobodies. I swear, i know what i saw and i know what the fuck happened. I was there.
I know that i got robbed last summer as a fucking set up. By who? I have no clue but i will be seeking my revenge on the parties involved.
I know that back in April, HE called me after going over a year of not communicating with me. He said it was to apologize but i know better than to play fuck boy shit. I had a dream of him, right before he placed that phone call and those texts. I know why he really called. I’m not stupid. I know that HE was parked outside my house one night in a gold car. I know that he sent some fat ugly white bumafuck bitch, walk into my job, to have me pressed! And I still acted like a lady and said not one word, nor made a scene, unless I FELT IT WAS NECESSARY to do so! I know what i have seen and what i have heard. I know what has happened right in front of my face.
I’m kind of all over the place. But I know what has been cleared! So why does my life have to be the deadly example? What did i ever do to anyone, to make them have to remind me, that they are all better than me? Who the hell made you almighty God and wonderful, that it’s ok to put me down? If you don’t want me around, do me a favor and put the bullet in my brain. I’m sorry that i don’t have the guts to pull the trigger on my own self!
Games? No longer into those. Challenges, definitely! Let’s go and bring it on! Anyone willing to come and attack my stubbornness, please let your momma know how to dress you for your funeral ahead of time. You will get creamed. ‘Cause Wu Jaydddde ain’t nothin to fuck with! CTFU! If you are willing to put me in a situation where it has to be debatable, or in ghetto terms, come for me, you will be put in your place. I’m always on my P’s & Q’s, baby. My mouth is icy and sometimes quite reckless. At least lately, I haven’t been hostile about it. *pats back* There’s no need to anymore. I’m good on you. And now I’m going to show you which is better than having to tell you! Because if shit got out of hand, because you’d get into your feelings, because let’s face it, the truth is a hard pill to swallow and if you put your hands on me… My hands will react, and that’s something you definitely do not want! You have been warned! Look, I’m putting it in writing now! I’m being responsible about it. And if it gets recorded, GREAT, even better. I need a LAWSUIT! I need a reason to corrupt pockets just as mine have been. Even this inadequate judicial system wants a piece of me. Let’s go motherfuckers! The internet is a beautiful invention and Google is a great buddy. And after reconnecting with people who know their shit is a great benefit as well. So when I drop that Affidavit, Supreme Court, and delegation of authority knowledge onto their front door step and they attempt to knock me down, I’m not for it anymore! All of it is OVER! And I mean it! After that, it’s the World I want to conquer! Tell Donald I want to be his stylist and give him a pretty black & blue.