One Year Later; Still Ain’t Shit

Welcome 2019, almost 2020. 🙄 I’m 30 years old now. And I still feel that I’m not worth shit. Although, I’ve gotten further into my journey of clarity. I know I’m still not worth shit! LOL! Oh laugh, a little.

Yes, I beat my case and was put back on probation. I got rid of Anthony, kinda. I got my brand new car, moved away from my toxic family, and my job is pretty secure. However, I still live with demons and unforgotten reminders that I shouldn’t feel not any better than I was 1 or 2 years ago.

I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been freeing my mind nor my spirits. I’m still lonely, and very insecure. I still think and miss “HIM” and feel completely incomplete. He blocked me when i tried to make amends, listening to tarot readers on youtube. 😒 I still have people wanting to make sure I fail, and I’m still trying to achieve my goals. Still not sure how to overcome all boundaries, but I’m still trying my damn near best.

I just don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel comfortable. I stress about money. My gray hairs have advanced more on my scalp. I want to get back into social media. I really want to kick start my career. Why am i still so fearful, after all the things i have overcome? 😔

One Year Later; Still Ain’t Shit

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